A Penis Story

4 years ago I wrote a story titled PENIS. You can read that here.

I had no idea that my mom had googled me about a year ago and found the story. That doesn’t really bother me either, it’s not a dirty story, and although I can’t recall ever saying the word “penis” to her, there are probably worse things of mine online she could have found (re: Hot and Bothered or any of my recent blogs in , oh say, the last year or so).

Anyways, I never knew (or cared to know) that my mom had done a seach for “Doctor Popular” and found a silly story I wrote about the weird way my head works until tonight. I was talking to my folks and mom had mentioned to me that she was worried to read anything of mine online anymore.

Mom uses the computers in the library at the local comunity college. She doesn’t quite understand computers and often times has weird things happen to her while she tries to learn. For instance, she found the penis story online, and thought it was funny, so she decided to print up a copy to take to my dad. So get this the paper jams while my mom is printing out my story. She couldn’t get it out, it had just printed “PENIS” in a huge bold font, then started printing an image and jammed. She had to ask for help, if you knew my mother you’d realize how embarrased she would be at this moment. So someone comes over and helps my mom get the paper out, my mom tells them the whole story. But wait, she goes back to her computer, and attempts to print it out again. Again, the paper jams. Again, she gets help. She quits Explorer and signs out, but then she hear’s someone at the printer say “What is this?”, they had tried to print something, and instead of their article, the printer spits out (and jams) the word PENIS.

When my mom came back two days later, she was told that every time someone tried printing anything at all, the printer would just spit out my PENIS.. for almost an entire day after she had tried to print out my story.

PENIS (*jam)

PENIS (*jam)

PENIS (*jam)

PENIS (*jam)

That’s funnier than the penis story itself. It was especially hillarious hearing my mom talk about it, apparently she still feels that they were extremely angry at the student library about this incident. So all this came after I had told her that I’m finishing the sound for a short film. “That sounds nice, will I be able to download it at the library?” she asks. “Yeah, it’ll be online by Valentines” I say, “Oh wait, uh.. actually, you might not want to do that at the library.. It’s a love story… about a flasher… and the girl that falls in love with him”.

I can totally imagine the scene now… Everytime someone opens up a quicktime video, a video of a man opening his trenchcoat comes on and loops.