Super Van

A few days ago, my friend Phil told me that his VW Toyota van had been stolen and that it would probably just be ditched somewhere. I was pretty happy to receive this email from him yesterday:

Guess who’s sitting in a cell at 850 Bryant.

If you guessed the bastard who stole my van- you’re right!


This afternoon I was on my last delivery of the day to drop of some paint at a friend’s house in the Bayview when I spotted my van driving the other way down 3rd( right near Kal’s shop). I flipped a bitch to follow him and hit the speed dial for the land line for SF 911. If you dial 911 on a cell the CHP patches you through to the nearest center- sometimes San Mateo, Sometimes Bolinas.
Anyway, I followed him down 3rd, left on Mariposa, right over to 7th, left onto Howard and he pulled over right next to Jetset’s dispatch office. I was giving constant updates to the Police dispatcher the whole time. As I pulled up next to him he recognized me and took off again. He pulled out, cutting off a bunch of cars and turned left onto Bryant, cutting off even more cars and heading for the COP SHOP! He took a right on Boardman and a left onto Brannan, cutting off even more drivers.
That’s when the cavalry arrived!
An undercover car pulled up next to me, asked which direction he went, told me to sit tight and took off with several other cars and motorcycles following. A couple minutes later the dispatcher called me back, informed me that they had my van stopped and the driver in custody. I drove over to where they had stopped him at 6th and Bryant. Astoundingly, he chose to drive right by the cop shop again! At least the officers didn’t have to take him far. They had me do a cold show ID. It turns out that it’s the same dude that my next door neighbor and I caught as he was getting out of my van with my streetfinder last week. I guees we weren’t “persuasive” enough in our entreaty for him to vacate the neighborhood. His old lady and pitbull were also taken into custody for possesion of needles and teeth respectively.

While they were filling out paperwork, one of the cops told me that there’d been a rise in vehicle theft lately and they were planning on making an example of this guy.
Pardon my French, but did I mention- FUCK YEAH!

Guess my stolen van karma is getting a little better.







7 responses to “Super Van

  1. Morgan Tucker Avatar
    Morgan Tucker

    there IS justice in the world. fantastic.

  2. 49 Avatar

    I love happy stories! Mariposa, butterfly in Spanish.


  3. Kat Avatar

    This story made my day. Now, if only I could find the guy who smashed my window and stole my make-up bag out of my car. Someone is walking around very pretty right now.

  4. Beefy Avatar

    that's incredible!

  5. 49 Avatar

    how do you know it wasn't a WOMAN who smashed your window and stole your make-up bag?

  6. Slag Avatar

    That's a really great story – but why is there a picture of a Toyota Van, and no picture of a VW van?

  7. Slag Avatar

    That's a really great story – but why is there a picture of a Toyota Van, and no picture of a VW van?

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