Dirty Little Green Fairy

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Dig this, tonight I went to one of those parties… you know, the kind you see on the teevee.
It was after the show was done, my friend P.N. was having an absinth party at his theater. I had heard about the sex parties that happen at this joint, but had only ever been there to see my buddies show.

To get to the point, I just wanted some absinth, anything else was just decorations.
That being said, PN met me at the front of the theater and took me to the back office to drop off my bag and props. In the corner there was a man and a woman doing some heavy petting, as I dropped my bag on P’s desk, the girl dropped to her knees and ripped the guys pants open and began sucking him off.

This is the first time that I can recall ever seeing something like this. My small town ass was shocked, embarrased, and quite uh.. excited.

I of course coward like a dog, “there’s no copulation here, it’s just an ILLUSION”. You know, Mr. Casual, right? But P just walked up to the couple then leaned in for a closer look. “Be sure to try the Taboo” he whispered into the girls ear.

We then wen’t to the bar so I could get my Absinth on, word. I tried a bit of everything. Some it tasted like liqourice, some tasted like Lysol, but it was all dandy. Unforturnately they were out of Taboo, which is what I came to try, so I had a glass of Sebor (a czech absinth) that was pretty good, considering (ie, considering it was Czech).

There were the glasses, and the sugar, and the water (the traditional french method, not the Czech Burning Spoon Method). This stuff was great, very smooth, and well worth the $5 bucks (plus the extra 5 spot for the bartender).

So then I walked around P’s pad, it was all open, and I never knew just how large it was, room after room after.. oh my god, there’s two people having sex on the floor. Be cool.. Look at the art on the walls, sip your freakin’ absinth, but whatever you do, don’t make eye contact with anyone in the room.

I slipped out, and know I’m regretting not sitting back and watching, but to be honest I’m not sure of what exactly the etiquette is for this sort of thing. Uh, watch and be silent? Should I root them on? “Go team, go. Score!” Maybe it’s supposed to work like tag team, you know? Like I’d be on the side hoping the guy slaps my hand and I’m in. Either way, like I said, I ran into the next room where, uh, more sex. This time with black lights. Another room, some stairs, then I’m outside, sipping my absinth on the rooftop, the only person by themselves.

Like I said this wasn’t my typical scene, I probably stood out like a sore infested penis. I was just letting it all soak in, but these cats where all goth and shit. Here I am in my tee shirt, sweety from a long bike ride, already a bit tipsy from my show before. And honestly, I still don’t care for the scene at this party, but the experience, the experience was wonderful. If all of these people could have come together, tasted absinth and had sex without all the dress up, it would have been so much more shocking to me, but in a way it just felt like mall rats that had run amock without the constant prodding of mall security.

Next time, I’ll dress up, I got a nice suit, and it’s their scene, not mine. It’ll be fun, I love wearing suits. So other than P and the bartender, my shy ass didn’t talk to a soul all night. I did eventually watch a bit of sex acts, there was this girl, long blond hair, seducing this sqaure ass dude, she was on the stage and he was the only other person in the room until I came in. I figured, this isn’t a coat room, if they are going to fuck onstage, they’ve got to expect someone else to stop and watch. But actually, I think they were surprised that I came in and sat.. sipping my Sebor. They just putzed around for 10 minutes, as I sort of watched, sort of admired the fine lighting and stage set at the theater.

So I’m thinking final count was 6 sex acts, involving 13 people. That sounds right. Next time I go, I do not plan on going by myself, maybe my square ass will loosen up a bit, but tonight was all just a bit of a shock. Hey, the absinth was kickass, I’m-a order a bottle of that shit.
Uh, but don’t expect to see me in a corset with eye liner… Fuck that, I don’t care if it gets me laid, it wouldn’t be worth it if I was miserable.

God damn I love San Francisco.

Should be some interesting dreams tonight.

Your Magic Missile

Monday, May 16, 2005

Has been deflected.

It’s about time, sort of:
It’s so absurdly funny, because they totally seem to miss the mark. Just stringing together phrases with silly props isn’t nerd porn. But it makes for great free sample vids! I’m curious what the paying site is like.
But seriously, it’s not like if they just picked some random nerd thing, like a yo-yo and learned a phrase related to it, that it suddenly becomes sexy. I mean, if they just picked up an element x and shot some video with it, it’d be just as cheesy as the D20 thing. Sure maybe if it was a Doc Pop Element X, that might help. The color would look good with the models skin. But just seeing her drag the yo-yo on her body wouldn’t be “hot geek porn fantasy”. As she rubs the peice of plastic across her tight skin, letting the metal rings brush across her stomach in a figure eight pattern. Then she’d probably say something cheesy, like “I shimmed it for less response”. I wonder if she soaked the bearing in mineral spirits to clean the lube out.. Yeah you did, didn’t you. Cause your wild like that, life’s to short to worry about the damage your bearing could suffer without oil, becuase you know that for the here and now it’ll play so much better. Ya your a naughty girl. How does that plastic feel, it looks like it must be a little cold as you drag it closer to your bikini top. Maybe I’d still be attached to the string as she stairs into the camera. Spank me mamma, show me your best trick. You rock me baby, and I can see the promise in your eyes, maybe we’ll “sleep” together. I’m your dog, now walk me!
So speaking of nerd, I’m going to see the last ever Dr. Hal show at the Odeon bar this wednesday, then we are off to see Star Wars. This is not a usual thing of mine, paying full price to wait in a packed theater and wathc a Lucas premiere at 1 am. But it’s my buddy’s birthday, so we are making an evening of it.
I have to go ship something to the webmaster at Geek Fantasies.

Worst Sting Ever

Tuesday, June 07, 2005
I was at Ritual Coffee yesterday, drawing comics with Meredith when I noticed something weird out the window. Across the street there was a lady walking a baby buggy, she was a cop in full uniform, about ten feet behind her in the bicycle lane a cop car was riding along, keeping a close on his partner and the buggy. It was an odd site, so I walked out side and watched them roll about two more blocks. The thought ocurred to me, “what if that was like the worst undercover sting operation ever?”. You know, like trying to bust ppurse snatchers or something.

.. Okay, I’m not being a jerk or anything, but I w…

Okay, I’m not being a jerk or anything, but I wanted to post This myspace profile I found today.
At first I just thought it was entertaining that after he posts about not being full of himself, he lists like twenty things he’s good at, but then I read the classic line “im not interested in gay sex between men but i did bump cockheads in a girls mouth a couple times”. So I thought to myself “man that’s so funny, I’m gonna post that up as my headline”, but then I totally realized I didn’t have the balls to do it. Then I started thinking, man who the fuck am I to point out this guys profile and be like “hey look at what this dude typed (seemingly out of nowhere), and then I thought, you, I may think it’s funny but at least this dude’s saying what he wants. It may be funny to me that he would put that things I’m good at shit in there, followed by the ‘yeah I’vce had buckets of threeways’ line, but that cracker’s probably gonna get laid. And let’s face it, we are all trying to get layed on this thing. I mean, if I was so carefree and non image oriented I would have posted that I’m not gay line, but I didn’t. Shit, I’m going to type that headline, then my life will change, I’ll finally be over trying to impress people and trick them into a blindspace date. Naw, I’m a wuss.
That shit is pretty funny though… “i did bump cockheads in a girls mouth a couple times ; it could have been her tongue…”
OR it could have been that other guys cock that was also in her mouth dude.