Doc Pop's Weblog

Monday, March 13, 2006

Friday night I was walking to my birthday party at Bender’s in the rain. Luckily I had grabbed my umbrella before I left the house, in case it started raining on my walk back home.

The rain started suddenly and seemed to be a surprise to most folks out on the street.

At the time, I was on the phone with my friend Karen, who was in her car 10 blocks north of me on Mission ST.

“I have to go.” she said suddenly, then adding “It’s hailing right now.”

I hung up the phone and walked up to the nearest stranger, a man in his forties with an umbrella identical to mine.

“Shity weather, isn’t it?” I asked him.

“Yep.” He replied.

“At least it isn’t hailing though.” Before he could reply a hailstorm burst out all around us.

I walked away in the storm, but I caught a look at his puzzled face before I left. That was priceless.

Thanks Karen, it’s what I’ve always wanted.

The Oldboy DVD is nice too.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I made a coffee stop this morning, mostly because I needed change for the bus.

I stopped by starbucks and ordered a medium cappuccino.

Then I headed over to the Barista and wait. He called a couple of drinks and eventually called “Venti cap for (mumble mumble)”… He looked around a bit then repeated “Venti Cap For (mumble mumble)!”.

I stepped up and said, “My name is Doc, but the lady didn’t ask for my name, I think this might be my drink though”. He agreed, and I took off barely catching the bus.

Later I was staring at the cup and realized there was a name written on it, it’s what the Barista was saying that I couldn’t understand. The name on the cup was “Hip Hop”.

Hip Hop? WTFS?

So hey, I don’t know if it’s me or what, but I’ve been flushing the toilet early.

I just thought you should know.

Maybe I’m taking longer to pee than I used to.

Maybe premature flushing is common with men my age.

I used to be able to time it, you know… Like starting the flushing process while still urinating but having it all synched up where the last of my fluid leaves me before all the toilet fluid leaves it.

I wouldn’t say it was an art form, but it was something I had a lot of practice at. But now, I flush, toilet empties then fills back up, but I’m still peeing. I’m not even doing it consciously, I just walk up, unzip, reach in point, release, pause, pause, flush, wonder why I just hit the lever, pause, pause… Shake, flush.

I try not to waste, I feel kind of bad about it, but it’s just an instinctive thing. Like I said I don’t know if it’s me or what, maybe these new fangled machines flush faster on the west coast or something.

Hey you know what’s fun? If your chewing gum, blow a bubble, pinch it closed with your mouth, spit it into a toilet and try to pop it while you pee. If that’s too easy try flushing it… Moving Target!

ps I had like a billion ideas for the subject line:
Dear John,
Don’t Cross the Streams